hmm, been forever since ive updated this fucker, so noone reads it anymore, though i think a few people check it from time to time.
wow, soo much has happened since then.
soo much to say, soo much to talk about.
soo many happy times... soo many bad times.
well here is the basic overview of what has happened.
my car blew up. hayley broke up with me. failing in school. *thought id get the bad things out of the way first* ok so now, when hayley broke up with me, i told her "whatever, bye." and then she left. im done with her. i told dagon later that night that i was done with hayley, cuz she asked me how i felt about it, and yeah, so she helped me out alot... by saying "you know, now that youve said your done with her, if you ever get back with here, we are going to give you soo much shit for it... we WONT let you live it down, ever." so that helped me stay with the plan of getting away from hayley. all of my friends realised that she just wasnt right for me. ok lets see then... started hanging out with brian and those peeps at brians house, drinking lots of beer... you know that sorta... stuff. stole alot of stuff, halloween, christmas decorations... just did a whole lot of stupid shit, with clint, ryan sometimes. we stole probly 15 pumpkins and smashed them a few days later. never really TRIED to get with anyone new, a couple girls started liking me, i never had a whole lot of interest in any of them. lets see, there was candice, candice, rachel, kaylan, allison *though i did like allison* and yeah i dont think anyone else liked me but, the only reason i didnt like any of them really... well i tried, i really tried to like them, but, the reason i was trying was because i liked someone, and i allways felt inferior to them, so just the thought of me ever having something with her was INSANE, so thats the reason i didnt like them, because even if i did, it would have been for all the wrong reasons. trying to forget one thing by cramping up the rest of the space in your brain with other people, it doesnt work at all. then theres the issue of allison, and allison, well it was still the same issue as all the other girls just, i actually did feel somewhat closer to her than i had with anyone else... just she would never call me, and she would say she was going to hang out with me, and then not do it. so i ended up giving up on anything ever happening with me and her. like just before i left, she told me we would hang out that saturday, *2 days before i leave* so, saturday around 2 i call her, and she says "well im cleaning the house, but I'll call you when i get done with that." so whatever, i go take clint to work, go get dagon, hang out with her, dagon and i go to brians, theres beer there, i still had to go get clint so i didnt drink, i got get clint at 11... go to the house so he can change his pants i decide, im going to call allison while im home *ring ring* "hey, im hanging out with amber david and tim were watching a movie I will go to brians later you should go over there." ok, i was going to brians anyway, so i figure I will see her there. she doesnt show up there for another hour, by that time dagon and i are tired... so 30 minutes later i tell clint that we are going and hes like "ok, i will be right there" well, my nights, for the last week had been GGGRRRRREAT *sarcasm* so we went back to my house, i hadnt drank anything, because i really didnt feel like it, because by this time, i am getting depressed over having to go to california. i never want to have to leave my friends, even if I am going to see my family that i havent seen in 6 months. 10 days away from dagon and clint is hell. sure ryan is in california, so i am actually closer than i was before, but i wouldnt have been able to see him anyway. well, that night i would have probly gotten real upset just laying in my bed and when i say upset, i mean REALLY upset.the only thing that made that night ANY better was dagon. She stayed the night at my house, and damn my pride or whatever, but i refuse to let myself be upset, or cry or anything like that when she is around. so if she hadnt been there it would have been a really long night for me.
even when she was asleep, i was afraid that she would have woke up and seen me upset. so, i still didnt fall asleep till around 5:45 but, i wouldnt have slept at all had she not been there.
then the next day, allison once again had said she would hang out with me, because she wanted to see me before she left. so, i decide to call her... "im cleaning the house again, but as soon as im done I will call you" once again, no fucking call. i figure oh well, shes hanging out with tim, im not gonna bother her. so, clint goes to work, my mom goes to some stupid ass christmas party, and im sitting at the house alone. i call people, by this time, i dont want to call kaylan anymore, because im sick of her making excuses why she cant hang out with me, and how i have to come see her, which is near impossible unless i steal my moms car, which i have done twice for her. and im not doing it again. i dont want to call allison, because if she really wanted to hang out with me, she would have called me, because ive called her once allready today and nothing is going to make me call her back. dagon is the perfect person to call, just because she is someone i can talk to, and she understands me. so i call dagon, shes doing the same exact thing i am, sitting around the house bored, and hungry. so i decide im going to make burritos, and she should come over and eat burritos with me.. because of all the people in texas she and clint are the 2 that i will miss the most. so, while clint is at work, i cant really go "hang out" with him, so she gets her mom to bring her over to eat burritos and watch 40 days and 40 nights. *good movie by the way* then i open my christmas presant from grammy, *a new leather jacket... a nice one at that* and eat my food and watch the movie, and semi pack my bag. then i take dagon home, and go get clint, and we stop by karas house... *damn that girl, i put the moves on 24-7 for her, but she just doesnt take it :(* then we go home, and i pass out cuz im tired as shit, i fell asleep at 5:45 the night before, and woke up at like.. 8 that morning. not much sleep, so i pass out on the computer, people yell at me cuz im not talking to them. yeah it sucked, so then i leave early the next morning, and now im in california, with nothing to do, noone to do, nothing to talk to, noone to talk to. my only hopes are that clint, dagon, or robert call me, *they have my number :)*
well, im out for now, thats about as much of an update as 4 or 5 months of small ones right?
lotsa love to those i love.